She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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