I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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