Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
