She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
