bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
