I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
i out mim tonsoeep
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