just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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