it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
