Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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