he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
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I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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