Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize