and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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