my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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