Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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