Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
