you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
