don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
