The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
