The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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