The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
