I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
