Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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