I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I have post one night stand depression
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
