Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
