I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
