I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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