I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize