so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
