I think i sorta joined a cult last night
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
