I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
NoShamevember. You game?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
