is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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