Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
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It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
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I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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