dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
