apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
