So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
