i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
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