is your mom at the bar?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
