The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
