Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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