Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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