We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
