youre lurking in front of me
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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