Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
