how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
