All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
