so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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