HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
