If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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