there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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