She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
