You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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