well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
This baby is an asshole
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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