I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
