that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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