just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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