Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just gift wrapped bread.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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