I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
